This Expert Advice Habit Isn't Helpful
(And I'm Guilty of Doing It Too)
A surefire way to shut down a conversation is to lead with “You just need to” or “You should”. Who wants to feel like their question has such an obvious answer that only a complete idiot would ask it? When someone has a genuine concern, hearing it reduced to just-do-this advice is demeaning.
The reality is we all give advice like this more often we realize. I'm guilty.
We’re problem solvers eager to share what we know. Our unconscious response isn’t meant to diminish someone’s problem. It’s not to create that awkward expert-uninformed dynamic. This habit is shaped by our perspective, where we are now, and our experience.
We think like the teacher, not the student.
I was reminded of this unhelpful, annoying habit last week. You’re probably tired of all the hype and speculation about AI. I am too but bear with me. The reality is there’s a place for these tools in our work. We just have to figure out in a strategic, informed way what that role is. Ignoring the possibilities isn’t practical or prudent.
Nobody Likes a Know-It-All
But know-it-all opinion posts like this don’t inspire most business leaders to jump in. More likely the opposite.
Marcus Sheridan has built his reputation around They Ask, You Answer. Give customers the information and useful knowledge they need to make their best buying decisions. No argument here. Lately, Marcus has become a persistent – borderline too strident -- advocate for outsourcing as much work as possible to AI tools.
In a post last week, he shared a study about business leaders’ current AI adoption. He pounced on the 23% who said they weren’t using AI.
What’s wrong with these people?
Don’t they know what they’re missing?
If they don’t jump on the AI train right now, their competitors will zip past them.
They’ll become the laughable Luddites of their industry.
Several of us suggested that he might want to hit the brakes.
We don’t know what “use AI” means.
Ask more thoughtful questions before know-it-all rhetoric to start a more collaborative conversation.
Why aren’t they using AI?
Do they know what AI tools their employees are using?
What risks are they exposed to because of shadow AI?
Is it because they don’t know where to start?
That last question is the overlooked opportunity in a lot of our client conversations.
It’s not just about AI. Substitute [AI] with [the advice your clients are looking for].
Too Much Information Too Fast Is a Problem
Smart leaders are cautious. They weigh the risks as well as the upsides to any technology adoption.
We’ve been benefiting from AI tucked into many of our everyday applications for several years. Who hasn't experienced the not always so helpful, too often embarrassing autocomplete helper.
The difference between those integrated helpers and where we are now is significant.
Suddenly, everyone has a powerful tool that (seemingly) does the thinking for us. Ask a question and out pops a presentation-quality, beautifully formatted document. This is where the risks live. The pace at which tools like ChatGPT and Claude have been inserted into our reliable day-to-day processes and systems is disruptive.
Where Do You Start the Helpful Conversation?
In another LinkedIn post, Suzi asked if I had “decided on one yet”. What she wanted to know is if AI had “settled down enough yet for there to be one tool”. She admitted that every time she tried to understand AI, she got more confused. It was easier to do what she understood than to try to make sense of this new technology.
What was troubling was her basic misunderstanding of how ChatGPT and friends acquire the piles of information needed to train their models.
She avoids using AI tools because she wants to safeguard her intellectual property. For anyone who has followed the current lawsuits and Meta’s latest flagrant heist of 7.5 million copyrighted books, it’s clear that our valuable IP is merely a quaint relic of the past.
Her question led me back to Marcus’ everyone-should-be-doing-this opinion. Before doing we need to be actively learning even when it's confusing. We need to become more informed now than ever before. (Yes, I said need, but this is a hill I’m ready to die on.)
While we’ve wandered back into the AI quagmire that I intended to avoid, this technology simply serves as one example of a broader problem – and opportunity – for those of us with knowledge and expertise to share.
What if we started with the beginner’s mindset?
What does our listener know and how do they want to learn from us?
Instead of “you need to” what if our warm-up toss is “tell me more about what you’re thinking”.
Wrapping It Up
Learning is a lifetime commitment. 4+ decades ago when I first landed in the software development world, I got this wise advice from Amy, a developer who knew a lot more than I did. Her words are still serving me well 40+ years later.
Read everything you can.
You won’t understand a lot of it at first.
But the more you read and listen to the people around you, the less confusing the words and concepts are.
Ask yourself how this relates to your business. Give information useful context.
Learning about technology is a never-ending process because technology never stops changing.
The AI tools we’ve been given have to be handled with care. As they become more human-like, we’ll become more confident, quicker to accept, and trusting in their trained expertise. We have a responsibility to our clients, customers, and company to continually read, listen, think, and learn.
When I hear someone say, “I use ChatGPT for all of my ____”, it’s hard to resist the temptation to lead with “You need to remember that AI doesn’t know context. That’s on you.”
Tip: A useful setting in ChatGPT is the “Skeptical” attribute. Click on your headshot in the upper right corner. Select Customize ChatGPT and scroll to “What traits should ChatGPT have?”. Select the Skeptical attribute. ChatGPT is too eager to change its mind for you so encourage it to be more inquisitive in its responses.
If you found this helpful, interesting, or a conversation, won’t you share this with a colleague, business partner, or friend?